Have you been in a bad romance?
One of those relationships when everything started great and then all went downhill. It happens. All. The. Time. The saddest part is that some times, even though happiness has vanished, we seem to be stuck to that person, we fail in our ability to look into the future. We think that if we walk away we will never, ever find anyone again. That is usually not true. There’s a popular saying in Puerto Rico that says:
“Es mejor estar solo que mal acompañado.”
Which translates to: “It’s better to be alone than in bad company”.
On the other hand, if this relationship is in marriage I will always encourage reconciliation over divorce. I believe things can be worked out in most occasions.
So, what has been your bad romance? How did you walk out? How did you fix it? Share it here, it may help others that are too afraid.
Lady GaGa – Bad Romance (Listen here)
mmm…well…where do i begin?
So, what has been your bad romance?
bad romance? i think the “romance” was good. but it was also toxic at the same time. and it led to me making some very poor decisions. decisions that resulted in years and years of self torment due to two abortions. however…its been a huge ministry as well. oh…God is much bigger than our failures.
How did you walk out?
i left the state. i had to leave everything behind. unfortunately…that only landed me in similar situations. i changed my geographical view but not my heart or intentions. i ended up in another toxic relationship, that led to a marriage that ended in suicide.
How did you fix it?
if i were pretending to be all godly i would say that *I* didnt fix it at all. God did. while, obviously, God did fix it….i still had to choose the hard road of being broken, changed, humiliated in confession and walking away from the old, dead me. it took a lot. i hated a lot of it. i loved some of it. and i am completely grateful for all of it.
there isnt much in life that we cant learn from and grow from and become a better person because of.
we just have to choose.
sounds simple. some may not agree. but all i have is my own story and experience…and its been 100% effective. for me.
I was with a girl (Stacy) for four years. We weren't entirely happy and she was really mean to me. I had even tried to break up with her a few times and she always had an excuse for not letting me (ie. “now is not a good time”). Basically, she all but beat me. Finally, I decided that the only way to make her happy was to propose to her. That was a huge mistake. While planning the wedding, she mentioned renting a house in Hawaii that her parents could stay in with us… during our honeymoon. She would constantly yell at me, wouldn't let me go out with friends, and was just all around degrading.
Yet every time I tried to break up with her, she refused to leave.
Soon after we got engaged, I decided to start losing some weight. I January 13, 2006, joined Weight Watchers and got on their forums to get some support. My fiancee, however, decided to try to sabotage me and started bringing home fast food for dinner. I held strong, though, and ate healthy. On the forums, I met a girl named Julie. She had lost over 100 pounds, and was a really encouraged me. We started chatting more and more, and on things started to get kind of serious between us. Julie lived in Florida, and I lived in Iowa. The entire time I was talking to Julie, I was still engaged to Stacy, but… she was mean, so I didn't feel like I was cheating. (In retrospect, I was.)
However, on February 13, 2006, I asked Julie if I broke up with Stacy, if I could come visit her. She said, “Sure, when?” I said, “Tomorrow.” Julie agreed so I bought a plane ticket. That night, I went home and broke up with Stacy and told her that I already had a plane ticket so she knew it was really over. The next day, I flew to Florida to meet Julie. We met in person for the first time on Valentine's Day 2006. Four months later, we were engaged. In June of 2007 we got married. Together we lost over 200 pounds, and because Weight Watchers success stories. Also, we just had our first child, Nathaniel, in January 2010.
So really, that's a bad romance turned good, but man… being with Stacy was REALLY bad.
Wow wow wow! Thanks for sharing this, I really love to read stories like this, I know that even though the first part was hard, as you said it turned good, and now people can be encouraged by it. Simply awesome, and congrats on the birth of Nathaniel.
Thank you!
I just hope everyone else can get out of their bad romances before they almost make a horrible mistake like I did.
Thank you!
I just hope everyone else can get out of their bad romances before they almost make a horrible mistake like I did.
my last girlfriend was a controlling bitch. She smoked so much weed that she would even forget her logic behind her arguements. She ruined my life lol. But it was a good experience to learn about how fucked up some people are.
thanks.
Hey Matthew, thanks for sharing. Yeah, sometimes the experience that we gain for this is worth it, even if it feels like hell at the moment. Hope you get an awesome girlfriend.
Guys need to believe in their true value and move on when bad relationships strike. Life is short and moving on is a must if you want to enjoy life.
-Ben